Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Groundhog Wild

Although you wouldn't know it by the buckets of snow falling in NYC today, a hot-headed groundhog named Staten Island Chuck predicted yesterday that spring is on its way. It was a bold forecast that the 10lb hog made right before he bit through Mayor Bloomberg's glove and into his finger.

The attack, captured by the Staten Island Advance, shows our mayor antagonizing the rodent with a stale corn cob to lure him out of his groundhog hut and greet the crowd.

Clearly Chuck wasn't feeling it, and why should he? He's just a copycat, a wannabe Punxsutawney Phil. Chuck's got only 21 correct predictions while Phi's accuracy is claimed to be 100% and dates back to 1886. And the name--"Staten Island Chuck?" Is that the best we could do? How about something more poetic, some alliteration maybe, and please, must we even mention Staten Island? It's time we let Staten Island Chuck get back to his life of [bridge and] tunneling.

And for the record, Punxsutawney Phil did see his shadow. Five weeks and six days left of winter.

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