It is already distressing enough that an Italian's stereotype of Americans can be summed up in two words; McDonald's and pro-Bush. But this week I found out that Italians have concocted a pizza so disgusting and unhealthy that I can't imagine ever eating it -- and they convinently call it Pizza Americana.
This caloric masterpiece is a mish-mosh of a normal cheese pizza topped with HOT DOGS and FRENCH FRIES! I mean, why not just layer on some crumbled cellulite and sliced saddlebags to really give it that extra kick?
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fusion cuisine. But to create such a cringe-worthy pizza and then claim that it hails from America is not ok in my book. I challenge anyone to find a pizzeria in America that uses french fries as toppings!
And while I'm at it, I'll clear up some other F.A.Q.s about my so-called American-ness:
- No, I don't eat McDonald's 6 out of 7 days a week. Ironically, I can remember only one time I was in a McDonald's and it was in Thailand, at the request of my Italian ex-boyfriend.
- No, I don't drive an S.U.V.
- No, I'm not rich.
- No, I don't support Bush.
- Yes, on occasion I've been known to eat sausage, eggs and pancakes before 10am, with a side of hashbrowns and washed down with some American (dirty dish water) coffee.
If you happen to be in Italy and are feeling daring, you can find la Pizza Americana here: